does honesty still exist? do we even care?

i've been thinking about honesty...and integrity...and how their definitions have gotten watered down and their importance is seemingly lost in our cultural climate...

honesty::refusal to lie, steal or deceive in any way; in english the word originally had more to do with honor

integrity::an unimpaired condition; the quality or state of being complete or undivided

looking at the above definitions, i wonder how many of us could use those words to describe ourselves...our friends...anyone with whom we have any amount of interaction

we lie by commission, we lie by omission...we lie, we claim, to protect others...we lie to protect ourselves...we lie, sometimes, without even knowing why...

what would it mean if we were exactly who we are no matter where we are...if every single person who met us could count on us to be real...to be honest...what would it mean if we worked to become trustworthy...no matter what it cost us...

lies are exhausting...living a double life is exhausting...trying to remember who you told what and to keep up whatever appearances you've created is a juggling act that is destined for a disastrous ending...

the only thing in this life we really have is our good name...and, for the most part, we have control over that...

integrity means that we tell people who we are by our words and our actions and that image we create, matches the reality of the person we truly are...

"never separate the life you live from the words you speak." paul wellstone

it is an amazing gift to have someone's trust...we should do everything in our power to not only deserve it...but to guard it...to treat it as the priceless treasure it is...because trust betrayed or lost, even if rebuilt, will always bear the scars of its injuries...

big impact of small things

been thinking a lot about the power of simple gestures and of gratitude...two words "thank you" can make such a difference...when someone does something nice for you, "thank you"...when someone gives you a compliment, "thank you"...when someone supports you, encourages you, is kind to you, "thank you"...i really feel like there is something altogether lacking in our character if we cannot find it in ourselves to say "thank you" for even the smallest thing...

i find myself noticing more and more the little gestures with such a sense of gratefulness...i am almost overwhelmed by it...maybe i am more sensitive, because i have had so many people in my life who i thought were friends treat me with such complete disregard, that when someone takes the time to care about any part of my life, it is a huge thing for me...

it's been surprising the people who heard of the awful storms in alabama and have checked on me to see if my family were ok...that matters and "thank you"...the people who know i have been going through an incredibly challenging time and just offer simple words of encouragement or just take time to spend time with me...that matters and "thank you"...kimberly, who i have never met in person, who collected 13 pillowcases for my dresses for africa project and is mailing them to me...that matters and "thank you"...to anyone who has offered me any kindness...especially, if in my selfishness, i have not said it before, "thank you"...

how we treat each other matters...i hope that i can find more ways, not just to express gratitude, but to live out those "thank you's" every moment of every day...

reflections on lent...

it has not been my habit to give up things for lent every year...not because i did not understand the point, but i haven't always felt compelled to participate in the tradition...

this year, i felt a strong desire to take part in lent...and i struggled to determine what i would give up...i didn't want to randomly choose something like coffee or facebook, in general...because i wanted my participation to profoundly change me...to challenge me...

an idea began to form in my head and then found its way into my heart...an idea that was rooted in an inspiration beyond my natural inclinations...i would stop using my facebook status to write updates about myself and would instead write updates about people (both friends and strangers) who were doing praiseworthy things with their lives...people who were making a difference...

from the very beginning, this new approach forced me to evaluate my own life...if someone else were doing the same thing, would any part of my life merit being written on their facebook status...how was i making a difference?

over the last several weeks, i have discovered just how many remarkable people are doing amazing work in the world...just how many wonderful people i know personally...i have come to see how much beauty there is in people...in life...in my life...

tonite i posted my first update about me...and it felt odd...it felt kind of wrong, like a scratchy, ill-fitting wool coat...i don't know where i will go from here...but i have been changed in ways i, myself, may not fully understand...but i feel like my soul has grown...my heart has grown...

mother teresa...words of wisdom...

"I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God."


"I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor?"


"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."


"Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God - the rest will be given."


"Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work."


"Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself. Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them."


"Each one of them is Jesus in disguise."


"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world."

Beauty Pressure

our culture comes at its girls and women with an onslaught of doctored images of its standard bearers...looks impossible to achieve without a team of experts and some very unhealthy habits... whatever their motivation, i celebrate dove's campaign to raise awareness and money in order to educate girls and women on real beauty... what would happen if we celebrated the females in our soceity for their individuality and the qualities that make them unique...what if we created a counter-culture of confidence and peace with who we are...both inside and out... what if we just let each other off the hook for once...and all took a collective sigh of relief... you are a wonder...a beautiful soul...in a miraculous body...with a light that shines through your eyes and your words...out your fingertips and toes...your only mission in life is to keep that light shining by just being you...oh marvelous and amazing you that you are :-)

the art of coffee...and so much more...

it's one thing to serve some of the best coffee in the dc area...another thing to remember your regular customers and their preferences...both remarkable feats... but to make every single person who comes through your doors feel like they are important and valuable...i mean, as the old song goes, "sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name...and they're always glad you came..." we're all looking to feel like we matter...like we belong...looking for our place... sean makes every single customer feel that way...he's a great example of someone who shines brightly and with that light, brightens the life of every single person he comes in contact with... habatat coffee company has been more than just a place to get a great cup of coffee...in it's short time here in dc, it became a "go-to" place...a place where you could go to recharge...a place where the energy boost lasted long after the caffeine wore off... at any given time, you could find yourself engaged in a conversation about faith, philosophy, sports, music...you would meet total strangers and by the time you finished your coffee, you had a new friend... those things don't just happen...they are the result of someone creating an environment where people feel safe...where they feel at ease...at home... so, i, along with so many others, am so very grateful for habatat...in a very short amount of time, sean has made a difference in so many lives...created a lasting impact...one artfully prepared coffee at a time...

the power of love

dr. king saw injustice and spoke against it...he saw hatred and poured out love...he saw ignorance and he spoke truth...he inspired generations...he reminded us all of our humanity and of our worth...he did not set out to be a huge celebrity...he set out to make a wrong, right... "he who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps perpetrate it." mlk what injustice are you seeing...and actively ignoring? speak out...you could change the world...