recently, i was spending the day with dear friends and we were discussing life...something was said about trading lives with me...i immediately responded, "you don't want to trade lives with me...trust me, you don't want my life..."
i made that statement, not really as a complaint...but more as a means of clarifying...one of my friends responded, "people don't realize the cost (or price or something like that) of an adventurous life..."
that really caught me off guard and struck at the core of things i've been sort of mulling over in my own heart and mind...
this adventurous life that everyone thinks i have and to be honest, i know i have..is not all it's cracked up to be...yes, i've been blessed with many wonderful opportunities to travel, to learn, to meet many amazing people and do many fun and wonderful things...but is easy to look from the outside and see a person's life as adventurous and enviable...and never really know what that life has cost them...
as i have spent some time now reflecting on my life, i realize it has cost me stability...the opportunity to put down roots somewhere...the privilege of belonging to people, to places...it has meant that meeting all these amazing people came with goodbyes i wasn't ready to say and friendships left still in their seeds of promise...it has meant not ever quite feeling "home"...
every road of risk-taking is a road of pain...because for every leap that brings the soaring, there's hundreds or more that only end in "thud!"...
it has also cost me being settled...having someone to come home to...to talk over my day with...it has meant that most of these incredible experiences i've enjoyed alone or with practical strangers...i don't have many people i can reminisce with about all the great times...
and as the years wane, i find i long for the porch light...for the someone waiting for me...someone to come home to...someone to come home with...
don't get me wrong, this is not discontent rearing its ugly head...just reflection from a grateful, but somewhat wistful heart...because i guess whatever kind of life...the grass always seems greener...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment