missed yesterday::here it is::little happy

grateful for reconciliation..that our God is a restorer...a healer...a repairer of the broken places...when God mends...the stitches with which he binds up that which is torn are of the finest handiwork and themselves a beautiful work of art...

another little happy

grateful today for the promises of God...the messages he gives us that we can hold to and count on...

the waiting is the hardest part...

tom petty wasn't kidding when he sang those lyrics...

it's tough to wait.

it's tough to wait with hope when things seem to stay the same or get worse.

not knowing.

maybe it boils down to not being in control of a situation or situations that makes waiting so difficult. you're afraid the delay means you're not going to get the outcome you are hoping for and knowing there's nothing you can do about it but wait for it...well...it's hard.

i feel like i have been waiting for some things in my life for years. some for only weeks. but it seems that in the waiting, i am restless...worries and what-ifs buzz around my head like gnats on a sticky summer afternoon.

everything, it seems, is a big question mark...in some cases, an open-ended question with no answer in sight...where am i going to school...where will i live...how will i afford it...will i do well...what is going to happen in other situations...am i in for heartbreak and disappointment...i sure hope not, but i fear it.

and i think really...it's a matter of not really believing that God wants to love me and do good to me...to bless me and show me favor. it's a deeper theological wrestling of mind, soul, spirit than just do i believe that God is good, kind, loving, etc...it is will he prove to be those things to me...will he intervene and bring good things into my life...not in the sovereign sense of "we must accept that all things eventually work for our good"...but in the very real, tangible "wow! this is amazing!" blessing of this present moment. i know we need both. i just feel i need more of the latter to balance things out.

and there's the thing...what i know...what i believe...what i can control...and maybe the real frustration is that God is not tame...that he is mystery...and a bit of a wild card at times...we don't know what he will do...

but wouldn't it then be just as easy to believe he's gonna go off and surprise us with awesome goodness instead of shocking sadness?

"you take it on faith...you take it to the heart...but the waiting in the hardest part"

another little happy

grateful today for fresh foods...i started my day by making a frittata with fresh spinach, green onions, grape tomatoes, mozzarella, sea salt and fresh ground pepper...it reminded me how much i love fresh food...simple dishes with the freshest possible ingredients are good for the soul, as much as for the appetite...

yesterday's little happy

yesterday:: grateful for the reminder of the wonder of childhood...my nephew came in yesterday morning calling the low-lying fog that filled the yard "frog dust" and telling an elaborate story about it...reminded how we need to take our eyes off of our very "logical" way of looking at the world and realize that God told us unless we approach it as a little child, we will not understand...we will not understand that God is at work in the world, raising dead things to life...calling those things "which are not" as though they were...speaking things into existence...that even what seems humanly impossible or even just unlikely is more than possible for God...and that there is a veil between two worlds that gets brushed aside every once in a while for those with childlike eyes who can look around them and see that fog is really "frog dust"

little happy::november 4th

grateful for the little things. sometimes i get so busy that i miss them. today...i am grateful.

some words of wisdom i've collected recently

"God never gives us a recipe for life; He just gives us Himself and says to be careful about what else we add to it." Bob Goff

"What if the life you really want, and the future God wants for you, is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure…your greatest fear?" M. Batterson

"We're messed up and we come from messed up but God is bigger than messed up and God works through the mess to bring salvation. So don't buy the lie tonite that you are too far gone for God to restore your life to the beauty that he's been dreaming about. There is not too much water under the bridge. He'll build a new bridge at the stream. There is not too much damage been done because God speaks things into existence out of nothing and he can recreate what the locusts have eaten. God is not finished. There is no story in this building that puts him off...Christ says, 'I am not offended by your story...I'm not looking at you going, 'Too bad you've burned too many bridges.' I can restore you and I can bring you back and put you in the place that God wants you to be.' God is always at work. When crazy, messed-up, jacked-up stuff is going on, God is still at work." Louie Giglio

that last one had me crying big time when i listened to that sermon...because i have been through and am still in some crazy, messed-up, jacked-up seemingly hopeless stuff and it is good to remember that God is still at work and he is always working for his glory and for our good...all the time, every time...God is always working.